Oh....visitors already! Why thank you HaWho and RD. I've appreciated the support and wisdom from both of you over the past period of time.
So, for those on this part of the forum - Me and XH met in 2003 and were M in 2009. No kids together (we were open to having kids, but I had an early menopause.)
Thought we were happy, but he became more distant - due to work I thought. January 2014 he decided to start asking women out whilst working away and soon became involved with AP. I found out and he dropped her - then started secretly seeing her again.
Main BD was he booked a flight to go see her and told me the night before. We S then - I left. I did the whole begging, pleading, rationalising thing - suggested MC etc. but he just wasn't interested.
I think there's an MLC element - lost a pile of weight, new clothes, young friends. Said he felt he was going under with depression - needed more sex, social stuff and running.
Things initially off and on with OW, but been on for about a year now. Her previous R was an A. Their M broke up then she cheated on him with XH - quality woman.
He says he hopes I'll see he's a genuine guy and he really knows what he wants now - a new family. Anyway, he filed for D and followed right through to the end. Not a bitter D. Quite amicable and I've been DBing throughout. Not actually seen XH for 18 months or spoken to him for a year.
All very sad, but I have GALed and built a new life I feel pretty pleased with. I always hoped we might be able to retrieve things. But when the D was final (only last week) it really seemed to flip a switch for me and is helping me move further forward. Who knows if I may plunge back, but for now I feel in a very positive place and happy to leave XH wallowing in his mud pool.
We just sold our marital home and I had an offer accepted on a house for me yesterday. I also have a growing friendship (nothing romantic) with a guy at work. Known him for years. He was also an LBS and he potentially seems interested in me. I still keep in touch with my stepson (and his Mum - she and I get along well - their M had ended over a year before H and I met.)
So, that's where I'm at - keen to keep growing and learning - and keen to be part of this bit of the forum where people are surviving and thriving after D.
Xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
