More detachment, less anxiety and the continued joy of limbo

[Phoebe]

Hey Scrant! I've not had good luck with the guided meditation stuff I've found online so far. I've just found them to be super distracting, either because of the voice, background music, the subject the speaker talks about, or the background birdsong, of all things!!! I'll try again, though.

I don't know what my deal was last night. For starters, why didn't I just take the Benadryl early? I knew it was a difficult night. Beyond that, I really wasn't having the racing mind syndrome. I was just wide awake. I went to bed tired and yawning and then just got more awake as I went until I finally broke down and took some Xanax at 4:45. Tonight, I'm dosing early, adding in melatonin and going to try to reset my clock.

I want to stop taking meds to sleep altogether, so this is a backstop. Oh well.

Onward!!!

I'm feeling better today. I started working on my latest grief homework assignment. The next step is choosing a specific loss in my life and examining that relationship. It can be the most recent loss (my H), but doesn't need to be. Eventually I'll do it for every unresolved relationship from my past. I have to give it some thought.

I want to thank everyone for the kindness you've shown me. This Misfit Toy really appreciates every one of you.