WHs do come back--Piecing--

[BluWave]

LandC, I am going to post on your thread, as not to confuse anyone.

SadHub, hello, and thank you for the prayers! I want to make my over to your thread soon.

Phoebe, well I guess it shouldn't surprise anyone that Hs that run to OW have similarities! That is why I started this thread, because in my very limited research, I do think there is a "type" of guy that is at greater risk for an A. The nice guy who instead of standing up to his W, grows to resent her over time, then runs to OW, and justifies his A by pointing at W and rewriting history. In his skewed version of the M, he is being taken for granted, and did everything for her, when in actuality, it was H that should have grown a pair, stood up to her, and relied on himself for his own happiness.

But we cannot control the nice guy! We have got to let him go and figure this out on his own. They cannot expect other people to make them happy--W or OW--and so until they learn to look at themselves, they will continue to run. P, I have no doubt your H will come to this conclusion at some point.

I think nice guys greatest challenges are the deep-rooted mommy issues. He was eager to please her, what he did wasn't good enough, and she emasculated him and raised him to be a good boy. So it's no wonder we fall hard for these nice guys--they are not like other men! They do not go out with the guys and all the Ws friends think they are the best. You have the best H! Hes so nice! Hes a great dad! Heard that all the time! What we don't see, is what's happening on the inside--the low self esteem, the strong desire to please others, and the transference of anger towards mom to W. They are suffocating in fulfilling this image and don't have a safe outlet to be the man that is buried underneath.

Wow. I should go back to school and get a degree psychology! Kidding. No thank you!

Someone on another thread mentioned the TED talk on infidelity. I watched it awhile back and recommend it too.

-Blu