You can't control anything she does. That's her jam.

You can only control yourself.

You can do that by *deciding* to take a step back and do absolutely nothing in the moment, for the time being,

That then gives you the space to start to think, to start to process your feelings a bit and to bring yourself back to yourself.

That then gives you a sense of coherence and dignity in this utterly awful situation.

Not to say that it's not really, really difficult. But what are the alternatives? Begging, pleading, losing your sense of self and dignity?

I did that for years. But I've decided I'm worth much, much more than that.

Me: 48, XH: 42
T: 18 years, M: 15 years

EA/PA 1: 6/2012
EA/PA 2: from autumn 2012-present

BD: 5/2013
ILYBNILWY BD & left: 10/2015

OW conceived: 8/2016
Born: 4/2017

H filed: 7/2017
D final: 28/12/2017