have i been making mistakes too long part 7

[tkdmme]

I really don't know what to say folks.. you all have been so understanding and supportive even when you all are facing the same emotional problems as I am. Its so awesome to know that there are caring people out there who don't judge.

I feel that I am constantly under the microscope. From WAW and her family. I am a good person and have never been this out of control before. She and my children were all I lived for and now that they are gone, I really don't know what to do. All of the new "friends" I've been making are alcoholics too and use me as their entertainment. I fall for it every time.

Im over whelmed by my job, the fact that I have to get my house ready to sell, the failure of my marriage, and the fact that I am still feeling awful. I just don't know how its possible that I will ever feel happiness again.

And yes I am planning to join AA again. The first time I went I looked around and thought that I didn't have near the problem those folks did. It sneaks up on you before you know it. Its an evil force and its killing my mind and my body.

I don't really miss the W anymore. Its just the idea of loosing my family. I enjoyed the role of husband and father and miss it dearly. W refuses to come get her things. I have packed up most of them so I don't have to look at them all the time but the house still seems haunted. She is so uncaring and expects me to just get over it and I want to but cant seem to.

My D12 has a play tonight so I will have to see the WAW and all her family. These things hurt too. I sit alone and they are all together smiling and loving their lives.

D12 also turns 13 on Wednesday. I have them for a while on Wednesdays so im planning to get a cake for her and throw a small party. Just the four of us.

Anyway, sorry for the long post and thank you all so much for being here.