Still here and need support

[PacLove]

Poschan,

I believe I'm a little further along (in separation) but D has not been brought up yet - W is still leaving the door open down the road I think (or just trying to ease her way out of the R very slowly... not sure)

As for Family dinners etc... I really struggle with these, on the one hand they are great for D - but it gives her false hope (she always comments on "how nice" it is when we spend family time together) on the other hand - I find it very difficult on me as I enjoy the time we spend together only to resort to anger, frustration and sadness when W leaves as if it meant nothing to her.

Be that as it may though, I still find myself falling into the trap but don't schedule them.

This past weekend there was a really fun event I wanted to take D to but it was W's weekend, she agreed to go and let me go as well (even though it was her weekend). She was reluctant at first, complained the whole way there but W had the most fun out of the 3 of us. It followed by an impromptu dinner with another family that was at the event as well - I didn't really want to do that but couldn't really protest in front of them. We had some great interactions over the weekend, I even made her laugh (I love seeing her laugh) but then she leaves Sunday night for "her place" and talks about a more permanent living situation for herself as she's leaving and it's like she's tearing a little piece away from me every time.