I am so sorry you need to go through this pain. I totally understand you and how you feel for being there myself one day. Just have the comfort from some of us that made it. It hurts but it won't destroy you unless you allow it to.
If you can take time out of work without hurting your job situation, then do so. But, just as an advise, do not stay alone for too long. Please, seek the company of a friend that you know won't be upset if you talk about your situation.
That is why GAL is so important. It is not just to show your partner that you are moving on without her, but it is for your mental balance and emotional health. At first, you do not want to go anywhere and then force yourself, then the next few times you don't really feel like but you're OK with it. Then you actually start enjoying some things, change others, you start exploring stuff you were not familiar with.
Give yourself a chance to be happy just for yourself, to be good for yourself and pamper yourself a little. Get to know more people and your world will get bigger and bigger.
And did I say that you will cry a lot more? Yes, you will. But it is the attitude behind your behavior that will make a big difference. You cry because you are not made of rock or iron, you are a human being with emotions. The difference is that for each cry you will put your head up and look for what is best for you and all the things you can do to rescue your M, your family.
Now, instead of the whole "I want to die today that we all know we want". What are the plans moving forward? What are the changes we will hear once she moves out? Hair cut? Clothes? Weight? Are you looking for some kind of hobby? What your GAL plans look like? Understand that GAL doesn't necessary need to be going out with friends, it can also be something you always want to do but did not put much effort on it. Or maybe, that martial arts class you stopped long ago, or joining a gym, the list can be long.
It also help if you go to counseling for yourself for awhile, there are behaviors that you developed that you already told us you would like to get rid off or improve, so no better time then now. Since I know some of these behaviors, I will post as much as I can and bother you about this things.
I also listen to KLove 91.1 to help me to have hope, strength and the hand of the Lord to guide me on.
