Hi TK, good for you to come back and post. From what you say, you have been engaged in some 'running' behaviours - namely women and booze. It's good that you realise these things won't give you the answers and the peace of mind you seek.

If you have been having dark thoughts, can I suggest you see your doctor and tell them how you've been feeling? Hopefully a good support plan can be agreed for you.

It sounds as though the booze is a priority just now. Would you consider joining a support group for that and restarting the IC?

Also, Pigpen has achieved sobriety and growth during difficult times. Reading his thread may help you perhaps?

Keep posting.....remember that all is not lost and you can move forward from right where you are. We are here for you xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus