May I offer some assistance here? To recap, I am posting the emails between you and XW.
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Mahhhty
Thank you for looking into educational programs for the children. I agree that is an important consideration and I can see that this district has a lot to offer them.
I do have concerns about increasing the distance between their parents/grandparents. I think being in close proximity to their family is also paramount to the children. It will also impact the pick ups and drops offs. Currently access to schools is very close to my place, a critical piece in that it allows me to work my job without the inconvenience of a long commute. Based on this I'd prefer to keep them in their current district, and feel the responsibility to bridging the gap belongs to you if you favor moving further from the children. Finally, after the change they've been through, I support keeping their schooling as stable as possible and allow them to remain close with their current friends and social support network.
I am confident we can find extracurricular activities in their current system, particularly if it's close enough I can play a more involved role in their scholastic events.
XW:
First, your home is not the kids’ primary residence, and I am not moving “further from the children.” My house is equally their house, and both of our houses are their home. Just because you kept the house in the divorce, does not give you a legal advantage in any other matter. It was made clear that my residence in "Town she lives in" was temporary until I bought a house, and at that point we would decide on schooling (see page 7, G2 of Parenting Plan).
Second, my family, including "her sister" and "her brother in law", are just as close to "her new town" as your family is to "my town". "Her sister", like your mom, is at home and would always be willing to help out when needed. Especially since she will be bringing/picking "her niece" up at the same school. My mother, their daycare provider, is equally close to both. This negates your point entirely.
Third, any “inconvenience” to your commute to "her town" would be exactly equally as long and inconvenient for me to "my town". This again negates your point entirely.
Fourth, they don’t have a “current district.” I was in the hospital when you, without telling me, registered them in a district and didn’t tell me for a month. Both schools would be equally a new experience. Your argument about ‘social support network’ is irrelevant—they are five and three years old. We and our families are their support network, not other children.
Finally, your arguments all center around what is convenient--not about what is best for the kid’s future. I have, above, made clear that all the arguments you make in your favor can equally be made in mine. Thus, the only thing that matters is the quality of schooling our kids will get. Don’t you agree that "the town she will live in" offers better schooling than "the town I live in"?
I hope to settle this amicably—but if need be, I am willing to let the court decide what’s best for the kids and I have looked into the next steps to pursue that. Ultimately, their best interest is what is most important and their schooling will set the framework for the rest of their lives.
Mahhhty Draft Response
We obviously have a disagreement here. We have an equal say in the choice of schools as we have joint custody. If you want to take this to a legal route - you are free to pursue that along with the time and expense - However I am willing to continue to try and work this out with you in the best interests of the children. We won't be able to litigate every disagreement.
Here is what I suggest. I'm concerned about what the plan is when you are not able to pick up the kids, since I will be farther away and unable to to assist as often. If we proceed with this new school, I will want a formal plan in place about what will happen regarding drop offs and pick ups when they are with you and you have a scheduling conflict. I believe this may be an appropriate time to review the parenting plan schedule we have been operating outside the schedule for a long time with regards to Fridays.
Also as their father, I would like to know who will be living with my children. I'm sure you will appreciate the same consideration when my living circumstances change.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Your homework is to take out the Wonka sharpie pen and re-do your response. Cross off white noise. Focus on the part "best interests of kids."
And I would jettison the last paragraph for it is too controlling. It matters not at all here unless she's living with a sex offender/predator.
