Well, I can't afford the DB coach as well, so I just counted on the help of my DBiers friends, and still do.
My advice is to prepare yourself somewhat to what is very normal and predicted, you are on the mercy of her rollercoaster and with her moving out it will be also your own rollercoaster.
The same pain that comes with her living the house, will sure give you the space and peace to see the whole picture and better yourself, and vice-versa. There will be days where you will feel good that the tension is gone, and there will be days, moments, when the emptiness will just crash you down.
I guess when I was at that stage, it was really good to know that many of us go through it and it is perfectly normal, so I did not bit myself in a head with too many 2 x 4s. I accepted to be sad, gave myself space to cry and feel like my world was ending.
It helped to gather myself again and think that I could do better next day. Remember that it is one day at time, that every step forward will be a positive, that this is a marathon not a sprint. It takes time, lots of it and it takes patience, lots and lots of it.
Your W is not acting rationally, she sure have her reasons for her behavior but she keeps setting you up to fail her. I really think you are doing the right thing and say NO sometimes for all her requests. She is acting like a brat and it is not OK.
Maybe it is the way it was before. She sets up some expectations of how you should react to what she has in her mind, and then she thinks that you are a loser for not meeting those expectations. The only thing missing here is that you can't read her mind and she does not communicate well with you.
Sometimes Collin, as it happened to me, we feel very guilty because we are fast to recognize that we failed in some aspects that we could have been better for our partners, but then with time we keep thinking and we remember why we became what we became, we start seeing that our partners were not really there for us and they also made many, many mistakes that collaborate for the demise of the M.
I know that you have been looking into yourself and you see all the things that you could have done. But reading your posts also makes me think that she is not all this perfect wife.
Give yourself time to heal a little bit, to start GAL, to have a life without so much tension and ups and downs. It gets better, I promise, this super horrible pain won't last forever. There will be pain, but not as bad. There will be bad days, but not as much. Have hope.
I also would like to read about your R with your kid. You do no write much about spending time with her, what you do together, what are your plans on seeing her.
Collin, have patience. Maybe she needs to walk this path now to find out that the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence. Let her miss you. Don't allow her to drive you crazy just because she is losing her mind.
Hope you are having a calm day today. My thoughts are with you. Pray when the desperation comes, it helps. God bless you honey!
