1980 - ok now I feel old again. Sorry. You are very centered for "your age" - ok that makes me feel old too. You will find your path. Trust me. Thanks for the comments on my thread about my son. He is my everything and a great kid. I dont want to damage him by the sillyness between his mother and me.
Bill.
"you are who you chose to be" - Iron Giant
Link To CURRENT Sitch
WHOA! Fatherly tone from Bill - dammit, do I have to be 50 before anyone sees me as less than a kid? My husband is 30. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR! So, does this mean my dibs are cancelled? Well, dammit. Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Lyr - no your dibs arent canceled. Let me tell you a little tale about our past. We were married in 1991, and had a good life for 3 years. We had several bad miscarriages, and my W had an A in 1994 and we separated. We reconciled after a year, and went on with our lives. in 1996, I was seduced by someone 8 years my junior (and part of me went with it because of what she did).
Age is not a barrier to anything. You can be 40 and messed up, or 25 and present. It's all in you.
My best friend female wise right now is 8 years younger, but in some ways generations older than my wife.
Sorry to make you feel uncomfortable - not to scare you but I entered high school the year you were born and met my oldest, bested friend that year as well.
Hang in there.
as for the knight in shining armor - that's an affliction I have always been saddled with. As for the fatherly tones - I wanted a son as I dont know how to relate to a daughter.
Bill.
"you are who you chose to be" - Iron Giant
Link To CURRENT Sitch
Well, here is my Cainer scope for today: When we get too set in our ways, we lose flexibility and grow old before our time. We forget to have fun. We wind up with too much to protect and defend. While it is also true that we compromise ourselves by being too willing to adapt, there has to be a happy medium. Right now, you're too inclined to hang on to the memory of an experience that made a big mark on you in the past. That was then, this is now. Now is better than then. Really and truly.
Hmmm. I wonder if I should work on letting go of my M, or just the bad experiences of it in the past? I hate this horoscopes, because they always seem so eerily on the money. Darn things. Darn hokey horoscopes. Hugs to all, Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Well, my pma is at a decent level today. I still haven't heard anything from H about lawyers. I am thinking that he will start working on that after I get moved and settled - maybe he is not wanting to hit me with too much all at once. I appreciate that, I guess.
I can't allow myself to think that the delay is anything other than kindness to me, or being busy with other things. I guess it doesn't matter why the delay.
I walked out into the sunshine today and thought, "I can't wait to get settled into my apartment." I just want to get my new life started, and the H can fit in wherever he decides to. I have this vision of my little living room on a summer night, with a lamp on, and some music playing, and the iwndow open a few inches to catch the breeze. And maybe S is there playing, or maybe he is at his dads, and I am curled up on the couch, reading and thoroughly enjoying myself.
I will be fine - I am really strong, and light years ahead of where I was six months ago. I will get through this.
Do you hear me world? I am gonna get through this!
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Well, I went to go pick up some things from H, and he said "you want to get some lunch?" We went, we chatted, we drove by my apt and I showed ti to him, then he dropped me off at my car and gave me a goodbye kiss.
Part of me is really afraid there is someone else in the picture - REALLY afraid, and he is being nice to try and distract me from thinking that. Part of me just wants to accept his actions at face value. Any suggestions, or is everyone scared of my thread now? Help! Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
My darling Flowboy, ever the optimist... I had to pay a bill and he needed the receipt number, so he asked me to drop it off with him at his shop, instead of calling, then invited S and I down to his friend's shop to hang for a bit. That could be just him missing S, but when I asked him if he wanted me to leave him (S) there, he said, no, I will be by later. To help me "pack"...and I am going to make a real effort to actually pack this time! I don't have any clue what is happening in my H's head and heart right now - I am not going to get excited about this. I will just continue along the path I have chosen - moving, detaching, being pleasant - and tomorrow is still set as the Day of No Contact. We shall see - tonight might be terrible. I am aiming for a "4" night, and nothing higher. Hugs to all, Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Well, everyone...I am back into the DB groove, I guess. H came over again tonight, and again we got no packing done. Nothing crazy, just sitting on the couch together, snuggling. Enjoying watching our S bounce off the walls until he went to bed. We watched TV together and just hung out - he was really tired, but really enjoying the head and neck rub I was giving him.
At around 11, he got up from the couch and I gave him a kiss on the cheek and told him I needed to go to bed. He gave me a huge hug, and said "I love you." I told him I pick up my keys for my apartment tomorrow...he offered earlier in the evening to help me move if I need him to over the weekend. I don't know what's behind that - I think he just is uncomfortable on the crap bed at the shop, and wanting to sleep on his own bed. It's rare for him to offer to do things over the weekend. Especially in the morning - I didn't call him "the owl" in my last thread for nothing.
It was a major victory for me that I let him go without any silly melodrama, and I was the one who (graciously, kindly) initiated him leaving. There are some positives here, I feel, but I am moving ahead with my original plan...I will start moving in tomorrow. I am interested to see if he will initiate any contact or attempt to see me or contact me after I move. Maybe he won't - maybe he will want to just let go, but I don't know.
I do enjoy the loving, sweet H, and I am sure he appreciates the loving, sweet me. Now if I could only figure out wy we can't seem to be this way when we live together...hmm. Oh well, things are okay, and I will be okay no matter what happens here. Hugs to all, Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
That scene you quoted. Had me bawling the last time I read it...which was shortly before Husband moved home.
Claire is such an incredibly strong, independent, and WHOLE woman...she's my hero.
I'm so glad you are reading these books!
You sound like you are doing well and I see lots of positives from your husband.
Please don't question his motives...or if you have to, assume that he's making baby steps your way and he's not even aware of it! He's irristably drawn to you!
