I have not read you story yet, but I wanted to share my support and encouragement.
My heart breaks to see that drinking has become a habit and you are trapped by it. This can not help your situation and I see that you have been on anti anxiety meds. This is not a good combination.
Please seek help for this. The healing process will be slowed for you and your kids need their father. They need a father that is healing from the pain, not numbing it.
I don't mean to sound harsh, but I do hope you can find peace through other means. For yourself. For your family.
My prayers are with you and my support is with you and your family.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
