Well, in true Myrrh form, I am obsessing a bit about last night. Did I screw up by being warm, affectionate, and close with my husband? Am I just opening myself to some sort of empty affair? Is he using me, or does he love me and is just really confused about all of this? Bottom line is, I don't see last night as a babystep or any sort of step at all.

In fact, I am just extremely confused. I am doing a 180 in telling him that I am trying to be his friend instead of anything else, and actually following through with this apartment thing - really leaving for the first time - is a big 180 as well.

I need to feel some pursuit here - I don't think he came over with any intention of what happened last night happening, but maybe he really is just playing games with me. AUGH!

Anyway, the original plan was for him to help me tonight, but i feel like I need some space to think. I don't want to call him today, and I don't really need to. I can call him tomorrow to make sure he made the call for power in my new apt. Not calling him all the time will be a big 180 for me.

I am trying not to focus on him right now - last night felt really good to me - snuggling and being close - and if that's the last memory I have of him, then so be it.
I just know that I don't want to be in a relationship with no commitment forever. I guess I don't have to worry about that yet, though, do I?
Hugs,
Myrrh

One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.