Destruction - 1

[speeder]

This morning I took Ws pillow off the bed and put her books from the nightstand back on the bookcase. She wasn't happy I touched her stuff.
This morning W came over and relayed she was upset that I implied there were things she could do to make us work. I said irrelevant as that's not happening. I did want to drop the line yesterday and did that there were prerequisites should it ever occur (not the best thing to say but I wanted to get it in her head, that I wouldn't just take her back). A small paving the way statement to sit in her mind. She started to pull me into relationship talks and I said I have to go and left. I did have plans and had an AMAZING time! I just this morning found out about a hiking group and joined and went and stayed over 5 hours. There were 19 people and I hung with those I could see myself being friends with. A guy who is D and a year younger than me and quite cool. I said we'll definitely get together. Also two women who were also very cool. One I liked the look of just scanning the group members prior to the hike and we hit it off well and talked. The other woman is a psychology major, twas her birthday, and we really got along great! We talked music unlike anyone I know and could talk with. I told her whats going on and she was like the person I needed to meet... talking of retaining my personal power and persuading me to not run back to W to meet the time I said I would return. She was like my own counsellor and we traded numbers. After the hike most went to lunch and I sat and talked more and stayed an additional 2.5 hrs past what I told W.
Upon getting home she was gone. She had cleared the bedroom walls and the bathroom counter of her belongings. When she arrived back, I immediately took S14 to his brothers place and hung out there awhile with S23 and my nephew. I passed W as she was leaving the subdivision, looking real nice and figured out she's driving far with her bestie and another woman to some beer tasting... Not expecting her to be saving money... needing a bed n such soon.

It felt great to meet people on my own and i can totally see hanging with them and calling them friends. Not to the degree of the friends in IL. whom I've known since grade school, but decent, fun, attractive people who can talk.

Tonight I am going to an observatory to look through a large telescope at Mars. The guy going to be there is a friend of my Ws however the invite was extended to members of a group I'm in, so it bypasses her. There were times in the last few years I thought my W had a thing for the guy but he's been a good friend to her and has come over plenty... although with how the other H turned ya never know. I had in the past pictured my W ending up with guy if I ever died. Don;t see it these days.

Overall the day gave me confidence to see, that yes there are intelligent, attractive women out there who are fun and genuine and that I can make friends, given the opportunities. I'm gonna be alright. One day at a time.