A Glass of Myrrlo

[Lyrael]

I thought I would make my title lighthearted this time, and since I really like my new nickname - I thought it fitting.
My old thread is The Owl and the Pussycat. In it, my H came home for six weeks, I went back to more of the same, and he left again after a horrific fight. So now I am starting over - I have an apartment, and he is helping me pack up and move in this weekend. He was going to call a lawyer today, but I understand he was probably busy and still feeling a little shell-shocked himself.

I am actually looking forward to moving our 20-month-old S and I into this new place. It will feel safe in a way this house can't. It is a home I can create slowly, and a place for me to find peace.

So what are the goals for now?
1) Well, going dark isn't really an option for me, so my goal for H is to keep every interaction as pleasant/neutral as I can. I am trying to look at him and treat him as I would a friend right now. That's hard, but it seems to make it easier to talk to and interact with him.
2) Get S and I settled in the new place - stuff put away, things organized. I have a lot to do in that way here at the old house, but H has kindly let me know he will come over and help,. That will be hard, but the truth is, I need the help, so I am taking it.
3) Do something I enjoy every day, whether that be reading a book, renting a movie, eating out with a friend, whatever.
4) Eventually after finances settle down and I get the tax refund back, pay off my school debt and finish my degree.

I am trying to rebuild my life, with the help of a counselor (still working on that one), and my family and friends. I really don't have any particular expectations or hopes for my M.
I hope my H and I can maintain a friendship, whatever happens. It will be hard if he chooses to go ahead with filing the papers (at this point, I believe he will), but I will get through it.
I have lots of great support both on and off this BB, and as I wrote in an unsent e-mail to Dustin tonight (just not the time to send something like that, but it felt good to write it) "I have come a long way, but I still have a long way to go."
I am inching slowly forward (not to borrow Mer's thread themes) towards my own future. I want my S to have a peaceful life and a loving family, no matter where the people in it live.
Welcome to the new place...sit down and relax. I am hoping the ride will be a little more peaceful from now on.
Hugs,
Myrrh