Hi Painter. I hope it's ok to post. I know exactly how your feeling in wanting the pain to end and the good news is , it will. One day In the future this part of your life will be a memory How you remember it , good or bad will be up to you
When I say good it's because your future is unwritten , fantastic things may lie ahead and this zpart of your life was needed to get you there I haven't read all your story but I will , but no matter what happened this is a chance for you to grow as the person you want to be. Of course its c@p what happened but it's done now and by moving forward , making your life the best you can make it , the whole thing can be used to make changes that you want / need
Like us all I do miss the woman I spent 26 years with BUT right now , I'm too good for her , she doesn't deserve some one like me and I'm sure your sitch is the same We want the person we knew back but they are not that person anymore and may never be again This forum offers great advice and time is the best healer of all.
Choose to live your life for you and when the cr@p gets too much do something about taking your mind off it. I'm sitting in my car because WW calls into the house after work , I've been for a long walk , I'm now posting on here and then I have shopping to do and lunches to make and uniforms to iron , while doing this I shall be interacting with / annoying my kids !!!
We only get one chance at this life so make the most of it Again , I truly get the ' ending the pain ' feeling and I also fully appreciate its just a feeling and nothing more but does this have to be how you feel ? Watch a comedy , post on here to a newbie who is suffering the soul destroying waves of BD , keep your mind off perceived and / or real hurt
All the above is just my humble opinion and I hope it was ok to join your thread
