Yeap. I've always heard that stupid expression growing up that if it's meant to be let it go and it will come back. I always thought that was the biggest load of crock people said when they wanted an easy way to leave somebody.
But, now, as an adult, I see the underlying meaning of it. And as bad as it hurts to let someone you love go. Sometimes you have to. I'm of the opinion though that you don't just let them go and sit around idly waiting for them to wander back around. You bust your butt to get them back. Because anything worth loving is worth fighting for.
M:36 W:31 D:12 M: 8/9/10 ILYBNILWY/"want space": 2/14-ish/16 W moved out 5/24/16.
So I got home after a meeting this morning and my W wasn't there. I got angry because she was going to be with OM(I know because I snooped). So I took the kids to hang out. I get a phone call asking where me and the kids are and I tell her. She proceeds to tell me that she wants to be texted whenever I go out with the kids. She had told me that in the past, but I wanted her to come home to an empty house so she could feel what it's like to be without them like it would be if we seperated. She then texts me that she can't believe I did that and that she sees how I will be with the kids (using them to hurt her) and that I need to drop it. I answered that I wasn't trying to hurt her and that I just wanted to get the kids out of the house, and that I have no problems texting her. When she comes home I am going to talk to her and tell her that I think she is overreacting and that I know exactly what she feels like to get home and not see the kids because she has done that to me. Thoughts? Is that manly enough?
Anyone have experience exposing.... I can't take this anymore. Do I tell her parents? My goal is to let her know that I know and that I'm not going to tolerate that. As long as there are 4 people (she is talking to 2 guys at the same time) in the M, I refuse to be a part of the circus. Then I'm going to leave the house and get there really late. Yes I was snooping and I found incontrovertible evidence that she has at least kissed these guys. One young buck is asking for tit pics and she is saying she can't send them because her boys are around, but she will show him in person. I really want to call her a whore too because that's what she's become
How do you think her parents would react to this? This will only upset your WW. DB says not to expose.
You can state your boundary that you will not be in a open marriage. If she continues to ignore your boundary, what will you do?
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
So I exposed her yesterday. I told her father first and then told her. I was non confrontational about it. I told her I know about the guys. She told me that we would talk about it and that she would tell me everything. We got in the car, she drove and initially I didn't want to talk. I was so nervous. I started with what we're you thinking? She said she wasn't and then the flood gates opened. I told her everything that I thought and felt over the past year. I got really loud. I cursed a lot. I pounded on the dashboard. I demanded that she tell me the truth. She told me that she started talking to one guy a year ago and to the other guy 6 months ago. She says there was no sex, just kissed them. She continues to minimize her feelings for them though. The one guy she just sent a secret admirer basket to yesterday. She says she's confused, so I told her I would make it easy on her and would lether be free to do whatever she wants. She cried and said she was sorry. She said she felt terrible the whole time and thanked me for waking her up.
trust her actions melo, not her words. Move forward with caution, she has proved to play you like a fiddle in the recent past, she may be doing it again. I hope her actions follow her words for your sake. I know how you feel because I am in the exact situation you are right up until your last two posts. I told my W today that i am done hanging in the fringes and she needs to make a desision..soon. Our 21st annaversary is in two days, I think for some stupid reason I am waiting for that day to pass. I have been GAL, hangin with my kiddo for the last couple weeks. She could care less.
M 21 years XW 43yo, me 41 yo S13 BD March 2016 - she asked me to patient... End of June - I started the D process. D final 2/23/17 "He who forgets will be destined to remember" Eddie Vedder
Thanks Coffee, it's a good reminder. I already had too high expectations. She is really angry because I told her Dad. She says he has nothing to do with it and I worried him unnecessarily. I told her that I was sorry, but that I did what I thought was right at the time. I told her that there is no right way to handle these things and that it could have been worse, she could have continued and gotten caught and then he would have found out anyway and been even more crushed, so it could have been worse. She also asked me for $80 today so she can pay her bills, I told her I would give them to her, but I have to set some sort of boundary around that.
