I know you want your H right there where you can interact with him, but I wouldn't push him if he is resistant. With co-dependency, it might be painful but better for you two to work on issues while living very apart. This is a tough time full of ups and downs; hot and cold running H's! I can't even count the times I've given up hope, only to read something here the next hour that brought hope back, or have a conversation with H that gave me insight into his feelings or crisis or even a slight movement forward from him. I guess the idea is to try to place those memories in the "memory file" for now and move forward with your life and focus on you (I know, I know...most overused phrase in DB Land). It does get easier, but there will still be those triggers that bring on the memories and then make you miss them terribly and then bring you to tears. Just persevere. It will get better.
I'm actually finding that listening to my H and encouraging him to talk, to actually learn to explain his feelings or actions, is helping him to understand himself more. It may not bring him back to me, but I see him coming to realizations about his own issues. And that in itself makes me happy for him. As for me, I have to take care of myself, as well.
You can do this, LandC. It hurts, but you will grow. Just keep your door cracked open for H a bit in case he follows.
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
