I feel like it would be a relief to die. There's no danger of me doing anything, don't worry, it's just desperation for this pain to go away. I know we've all been there and I feel like I've lived this so long (2 years since BD next month, 6 months of rage from H before that) and I'm just wore out. I didn't think I'd be here again. I don't know if I'll feel better tomorrow. Have taken two (very low dose) pills and still this faucet just won't shut off.

I haven't heard anything back from SD and I'm imagining how they all had this great evening and OW ingratiated herself and they're now all having fun planning a wedding. I know that's silly but the mind goes where it wants and I can't smack it.

M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17