Life 2.0

[Zues126]

I'd sleep on that Painter.

IMHO the best thing to do is turn the other cheek, and not to get in the muck with them. Don't get your hands dirty punishing or embarrassing or anything like that. Just do what you need to do to protect yourself financially and walk away.

Look- the best revenge is to not give him anything he can whisper about to home-wrecker in the evening about how horrible you are. Be strong and calm and be a rock for your kid. Be graceful and fair in the settlement. Handle it better than anyone else would handle it. Otherwise he'll just convince himself he was right to leave, and there'd actually be a tiny grain of truth to that.

That's what I've done in my sitch, and it feels WONDERFUL.

And besides...your STBXH and that tramp are no longer in your world. They may still occupy your mind for now, but they won't for long. You know who will? YOU. You will live with you the rest of your life. And when you are judged, either by God or by Zues from the DB forums, it will all be about what YOU did. Great, other people hurt you, betrayed you, let you down, treated you badly...good for them. That will be dealt with when we get to them. But when we're looking at you, it's all about you. What YOU do.

So make what you do be beyond reproach. Go to the courthouse by all means. File. But check the emotions at the door. If the best thing for the family is a D that takes some time, then breathe deep and handle it. If he's trying to negotiate, be reasonable, and do what's right. Be fair. Be cooperative. He doesn't deserve it. But YOU do.

It's late and I'm rambling. Sorry about that. I'm not very sharp right now. I'll just reiterate that I am SO glad I've handled XW that way. And now what's nice is that she's been fairly cooperative too, which has been very nice as we've been able to trade weekends with the kids, and made other compromises. It's made MY life easier, and my KIDS life easier. So if being selfless and righteous to sleep soundly at night isn't good enough, it turns out it was the selfish thing to do as well.

Please spit any venom you need to here and you'll have our complete support. But once you interact with him or a lawyer, be the model of professionalism. You can do it!