More detachment, less anxiety and the continued joy of limbo

[Phoebe]

Thanks, Grl. I did three group meeting activities last week. Two were great, and one was... not so much - a bunch of strange people and I'm still trying to navigate contact with the woman that hit on me. I'd like her friendship, but I'm not at all interested in anything more. No idea how to deal with that gracefully.

I look at MeetUps and I am torn. The activities look fine, but I'm having a hard time getting motivated. You're right Grl. I'm probably spending too much time alone again. Of course, I have so much work to do on my place and no one to share the work with, so it's the all me, all the time review. I probably need a day off from both the work and myself.

So, Grl, thanks for the kick in the pants. You pushed me, so I just RSVP'ed to do another MeetUp tomorrow - a nature walk at the park I've been enjoying lately, and then I can go for a hike afterward if the weather cooperates.

Still feeling pretty down, and it's just been an off evening all around.

I guess I'm just thinking about the possibility of being alone, not liking that, and then considering the process of finding a new partner, and dreading that even more. It's not how I imagined my life. I'm sure everyone here feels the same way. It still stinks, even if I have a lot of good company in this lifeboat.

oh. I forgot. Another crummy thing happened today. I hit a rock while mowing the lawn and ruined the engine of my push mower. It started knocking, then started blowing smoke and finally oil started spewing out the muffler, all in a few moments. Perfect. Another project and expense - replace the lawn mower or buy and install a new engine.

So... Blown lawn mower engine, damaged brush hog, dead chick, and just a bummerific sort of day.

Time to hit the hay.

Wondering where my friend SadHub is. Missing his input.