Oh and your WH is perfectly sane, he is addicted and has made no attempts to manage it. He knows if he has had detox education he needs to do so.
He is deep in his addiction, when he chose to drink it was a positive choice with negative consequences.
There is no benefit to counselling with your D, it's a deflection by WH and in my opinion very damaging for your D. An addict in full addiction will be unlikely to hold up their commitments to IC.
You may love your WH, I get that. And there are ways to stay married to an addict, even one in free fall as yours is, it takes a lot of strength to let them be addicted.
And I think it's an illusion he is pain, he is medicated and blotting it. He is pushing out the good things, he is getting more of his needs met with alcohol and drugs. He will also do anything to stay in addiction mode including using you as a resource.
That's why he contacts you I fear. He sees you as a resource and fears if he loses his codependent that he loses some resources to stay addicted.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
