returning Newbie????

[TabD]

I'm still reading and posting out here. I'm over here and in the MLC as well. I don't know where what when why how any ofbthis will work.

I feel that sharing my pain is making it worse. Friends that are not dealing with this situation nor have gone thru this. Or even gone thru the alcoholic stitch. They just keep telling me he obviously doesn't want to be with you. Not that H is not sane now he is drinking again and also might be MLC (has 25yr old OW)..

I do know that my friends and family are trying to see me happy and boy I'm trying. It's hard not onlybfor me but my D's. They both hate their dad and won't speak with him. H wants counseling with D-16, we set up an appointment but I don't know if D will go. Breaks my heart.
I want to be happy too. I want to be able to detach. I think I'm making baby steps
1. I have not contacted him
2. I didn't react/respond to his drunk text messages last night
3. Explained to D's to start locking door to garage. H doesn't have a house key only garage door opener. I am trying to be strong. H has not asked for money as we now have it set so he cant just get it out of our accounts. He drinks nightly again. And he smokes. I have no idea where he is getting it and I don't think I want to know. But if he needs it I'm afraid he would come n and steal ( he has done this the last time we went thru this and his drinking).
So am I doing enough or I'm I pretending. As my friends tell me to just let go and divorce him. HECK NO!!! I LOVE HIM!!!
I know what he is going thru well mostly with the drinking. I know that he is hot sane and he is trying to push out the good things because he is in pain!