Hello DBers, Supposedly meeting my H again tomorrow, waiting to hear back from him. Will be only the second time since he moved out 6 weeks ago. I've been seeing my IC and that is helping a lot. My H wants to live on our property - we have a house and a guest house - and I am considering it. Seems in many ways the best of both worlds, as wouldn't be ready anyhow if he wanted to live together now, and if he isn't here at all will rarely see him. Having a hard time coming up with my needs/boundaries ... as someone who has been a raging codependent much of my life while in a relationship - I said to my IC yesterday, Needs, what are my real needs? The 'people pleaser' and the caretaker aren't used to asking for my needs to be met... or setting boundaries. I've been watching Brene Brown talks and yeah, I understand what they are, but somehow it keeps getting confused in my head with what MWD says in DR about not asking for anything now from a WAH. Not a time to make demands - and I realize boundaries are not demands - any thoughts/help advice would help. I have not really told him yet the ways in which I was unhappy in some areas of our M and how I really feel and have been doing since he left. I've been pretty much 'dark' except for a few emails and our meeting last Saturday. At least I never did all the wrong things - no pursuing etc. at all. But is not even saying how I feel about anything going to the other extreme. I read something interesting about the sequence of events that must occur - in order for him to trust, he must feel safe to want to talk to me, and talk to me before he can enjoy being with me, and feel good around me to want to do things together to get to the point where he would even consider reconciling and working on the M. So I am still early days and don't want to push the issue at all. thanks! so tired, going to bed.
