I don't know what to say, except that what you describe is really sad. I believe you would have been able to communicate your needs with your wife, so I am not sure as to why this was something she was not able to provide you with. There are just so many dynamics at play. I imagine its hard to not be able to receive some form of validation regarding such a strong physical need not being met.
I think your situation is one of the more challenging ones on these boards, and I am always so impressed with the way you have been able to get through it. I cannot even put into words the type of character one would have to have to get through that and remain true to their values. I understand why you would want to avoid women and relationships.
It is different for men and women. I don't feel the same rejection as I know that in my situation, there was a physiological issue behind it. I feel compassion because I can only imagine how humiliating it must have been for my husband and how much it would have disrupted his ego.
My WiFi is down...so writing from cell. I'm sorry this is so choppy and disorganized. I will come back to this and your other post though.
