I will have to catch up with your threads... but I imagine the scary part of reconciling is understanding what the true motivation for spouses desire to return is? And will this happen again? And coming to terms with spouses character and code of ethics and morality.
I went for a long run today...ok, not really but a 20 minute run and was thinking about this;
It's often said that for the walkway spouse to want the LBS back they need to value them again. In order to value them, they need to see the LBS as moved on, detached, possibly dating others.
Why would I want someone that only values me when I no longer care? When they realize that I am done? I think that says a lot about their dysfunction and insecurity, not mine.
I don't want to be in a relationship playing games. I want to be able to confide in my husband about my insecurities and anxieties and fears without being devalued for having them and especially without having them used against me. I wanted that from him as well. I never wanted a relationship based on superficiality and fakeness (is that even a word?)
I often feel like my husband mistook my honesty and desire for a companion as neediness. I don't really need him and never thought I did.
Just rambling now cause it's Friday night and I have no GAL activities
