I'm glad that you've reached out to your doctor for help already. I wouldn't go weaning off any antidepressants right now, as you are still in the thick of things, and will be for the foreseeable future. Given how long they take to get to effect, I'd just hang int here and plan to stay on them for at least another few months. If they aren't' causing you side effects, then they are a good back up security plan.

I can't imagine how awful it mush be to have the OW be a close friend. You are dealing with two very distinct and separate betrayals, and together they add up to so much pain.

We all want to believe anything good that our spouses say. It makes us feel a bit better. It gives us hope, but you need to resist that urge. Nothing they say is reliable right now, and no relationship is possible when they are with another person, either in an EA or a full-blown PA. They are checked out and will say whatever suits the situation at the moment. I never imagined my H could be such a gifted liar, but there he was, saying whatever was expedient and would avoid additional discomfort for him.

Hang in there.

(((ahmeds)))

H: 44, Me: 45
Married: 20 y Together: 25 y
no kids
Walk away: 12/15
Asked for temp separation 12/25/15
PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had)
H filed for D 5/16