Need some help from the DB community! Crunch Time!

[cbtdad]

I had a good talk with DB coach last night. Told her I did backslide a couple times over the last couple weeks, like bringing up R talk once and getting angry with W, but overall things are better.
She made me do an exercise which was interesting. She had me role play as my wife and asked me some questions. Questions like, "W, how do you think cbtdad sees you as a wife and mother?"
After we did the exercise she repeated the answers as if she was my W and what I said. WOW!! To listen to it back was brutal.
I can clearly see why W would want to run

I also realize how often I would just steamroll my W and control everything. I wasn't being a partner.
DB coach says based on things she is hearing W is opening up, but is very scared to let her guard down and get hurt by me again
She gave me some very good advice on listening, validating and empathizing. Something I am awful at. I just want things my way and want to "fix" it
She told me same thing IC did. Based on where things seem that I should continue to stay in guestroom as long as I can detach and not bring up any R talk outside of MC. Then reassess where everything is in a few weeks.
So my goals right now are to continue to give her space by not texting her unless she text me first and then keeping it short.
No R talk!!! No gifts!
And I will continue to GAL like I have been
I still need to detach and not worry about what she is doing and how it will effect me