Still here and need support

[coffee_]

I am not quite in your situation yet, but I went to the MD yesterday and was prescribed some anti depressants. I debated taking them, but the MD said that it could take a year or longer for this thing to play out, however it plays out. I made the decision to start taking them last night. I have had a couple people tell me that it can totally change your perspective. As others have stated it takes a month or so for other people to notice the difference in you.
I am sorry for your situation, Know your not alone.