I understand the roller coaster of emotions! Some days you love her, miss what you had, and would do anything to make it work. In the flip of a switch, you can feel anger, rage, grief, and raw emotions. Then on again, off again, and around and around.... It is incredibly painful and unsettling. This has been a tremendous crisis and so these whirlwind of emotions are compeletely normal! You are only human.
That being said, you do not need to act on any of them. Better yet, act on none of them! Allow yourself the freedom to feel them. Then allow yourself a break from them--exercise, deep breathe, do something fun and take your mind off of it for a couple hour--whatever you need to heal, cope, and get through this. It's going to take time--just like it would for anyone to heal from a major trauma.
But your actions and words are your choices. They do not and should not be dictated by these emotions. Allow yourself time, patience, and rational thinking and planning. These are big decisions and why make things any harder on yourself!?! You will figure this out, and the more you can come to terms with all of the feelings and perspectives, the better choices you can make for yourself for the long run.
You will get through this in time! Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
