If there is an issue tonight that requires your attention I will let you know. Otherwise I will provide you with an update on the kids via text tomorrow after I drop them off. Enjoy your night.
isn't really a boundary in my opinion.
From the Boundary Cheat Sheet:
Originally Posted By: Wonka
Boundaries are for YOU and for your own well-being. Boundaries are not controlling at all. Simply statements of actions, comments, or behaviors by the other person that are not acceptable. It is signaling and communicating to the other person what's happening and what you will do if they persist in their actions.
What you wrote is simply controlling. You are controlling the access to your kids' information without really explaining the boundary. In my opinion, the text you sent is kind of step 2 where she has already crossed the boundary.
Maybe something like this would be a little more clear? "When the kids are with me, I would prefer to focus on them, so I will answer your texts after I drop them off. If there is something urgent, I will let you know."
