You are right about his life and most of the time I can see the struggle painted in his face. Reading your words makes me realize that perhaps it is also shame that makes him do what he does best, run away.
For sure it is not easy to be happy and face all what is going on in his kids lives when you messed up so bad.
I was also thinking that his stepmother is arriving in Colorado on sunday and that he may be running away so he does not need to face her. He has been avoiding to talk to her for a long time. He was super close to her and it could be that he does not have the guts to face it now.
But all this does not diminished the pain, frustration and deception on my kids heart and face. It is a very hard thing to see that they know their father walking out on them.
I guess the whole time is just sad for me, for us. But, as you said, we will survive this time too and will move forward with out dreams, goals, pursuits. Life won't be like this forever.
I am very sentimental these last days and I think it is a combination of having my family far away in Brasil, have no family here, being divorced so no husband, and not even a father for my kids. Responsibility on my shoulders, lots and lots to do and lots of history being written without the joy we should have.
Well, I will try my best to get myself out of this dark thinking and unhappiness. Maybe tomorrow I can post something very nice.
