Juju...I totally feel you about not wanting to R at this point. I fought for two years, but now that R seems like a real possibility if I wanted it, all I can think of is why would I give him another bullet to shoot me with when he nearly killed me this time?
I think the only benefit to a legal S versus D would be to protect yourself in the interim if you weren't certain you wanted D, if D were against your religious beliefs, or if it allowed you to continue receiving benefits that would be lost in D. I am legally S, but only because that was part of the process before H backed off on the official D filing. He and I are not legally responsible for one another any longer, but I still have all my benefits as a military spouse, health, dental, eye insurance, etc.
When we were drawing up our separation paperwork, I elected to keep H's last name for the sake of the kids. They were upset about the idea of me having a different name than them, and I just thought it would be easier for right now. That said, I have returned to using my maiden name personally and professionally outside of kid related situations. If you wanted to, I think it would be easier to go back to your maiden name having younger children who really won't understand the difference right now. Plus, if you ever remarry, you will have a different last name anyway, so it's probably going to happen at some point anyway.
