Yes, they become spacey and forgetful during the crisis. It's like they zone out for a bit and are just floating in outer space. It's the depression.
I see a lot of baby steps in your posting. By treating her as a friend and keeping your expectations at zero, she's warming up a bit. Keep dropping those friendship kibbles so that she can come along and gobble them up.
Keep digging for patience. This is a long trip, but you are doing a great job!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
