My xh started abruptly on his MLC eleven years ago this coming July. And I can pinpoint the date and almost the time! He changed over night from a loving husband into a monster
A mean and raging MLCer - at one point he was suing me!! (Apart from the divorce)
Contact was sporadic, always initiated by him and full of blame and rage towards me
Well he got married a couple of years back (not the original OW)
This morning I got a phone call saying he now realised how awful he had been to all of us. 'Monstrous' was his own word.
He said knew now how much he had lost.
I wouldn't say he was emotionally normal, but he was listening to what I had to say, and clearly not in a good place. Still married . . . .
I told him that it was hard for me because trust had been broken between us, and I still had no confidence that he wouldn't revert to his previous behaviour.
It might sound odd, even talking to this man, but we had a very long, and for me, very happy marriage, and we both agreed that as we had got older that jettisoning the greater part of our lives was a hard thing to do.
For the first time in many years he expressed concern for my feelings. Weird but true. This is not going to be a restored marriage, but it might be interesting to see how the post-divorce/ his re-marriage relationship unfolds . . . or not.
This may be one of his periodic popping out of the rabbit hole. I think it will be a while before we speak again. We shall see.
I did get an acknowledgement of my feelings and that gave me some closure when I had expected non at all.
