5 weeks in since she said she doesnt love me.(2)

[Natus]

Thanks Sandhi. I should not have said rules. I think i meant stages. WAW - Piecing - etc.....

Let me say it another way. She may be complying (outwardly) in the manner that she knows you expect of her. That's why I am not certain what you mean by her acting married. If you expect her to conduct herself in a particular behavior that indicates a woman is married......she probably knows what that way is, don't you believe? Most of us have our personal standards of what is proper and not proper behavior for M people. Maybe the only behavior you care about is her fidelity. If so, then she is going to act the part. At least, momentarily, until she decides what she really wants to do. B/c she knows that will keep you off her back, and it buys her some time.

I think this nails it on the head. Its amazing how i should know this but i guess when you are living it you dont get that outside in perspective.

I am not sure what you mean by your W acting like she is married, unless you mean b/c she's not contacting OM.

i guess we are doing all the things we use to do together that it feels like everything is normal. She offers to do things for me (normal everyday things) and picks up things for me at shop cause she saw it and thought i'd like that.

I have asked her to be transparent with me and she has been quite transparent, updates me throughout the day on her whereabouts, whos shes with etc. On top of extremely limited contact with OM and thats only because hes her boss.

On an upbeat note she has quite unexpectedly landed a new job with USA embassy here with a really good offer. Shes excited to leave her old job. She just has to negotiate her leaving now.

I know that people have their own standards of how people "act married". To me, her going across the border with her sisters.....to drink, is not exactly the epitome of how a married lady conducts herself. But that's just me. I'm sure others may not see a problem at all. Maybe it was completely harmless. If you have been pursuing, that could cause her to want to take flight and go drinking, just to get out from under the emotional pressure for a while.

Going to the border for a drink is regular past time here. Brunei being a dry (no alchohol) country. You have to go across border. Its only 15 minutes away from where i live so it sounds more extreme than it really is and she hasnt "hanged out" with her sisters in a long while, so it was more like a reunion for them than her trying to get away from me.