Gray divorces are very dangerous for women, unless you have been consistently working and accruing retirement. Have you? Women have less earning power than men and the older we get, the bigger the gap seems to be. If someone is essentially starting a career in their 50s, the outlook for retirement may be dire.
There is absolutely no shame in spousal support, especially if one partner made sacrifices for the other's career (and that includes something as simple as staying home with the children.) If your H doesn't know that he will be paying spousal after a 25 yr+ marriage, his head is sticking in the ground.
One alternative to spousal support is for you to receive a disproportionate share of assets (ie the house sale, retirement benefits, investment accounts, even the business.) You can also force the sale (or for him to buy you out) of the retirement home. Please don't risk your financial future because of any feelings you have for him.
Is renting, in the short term, a possibility to avoid the whole co-signing situation. Or borrowing from family in the interim. One friend of mine had her parents "re-finance" her house while the divorce was in process and then once everything was settled, she re-financed herself.
Going back to lurking now -- but just wanted to assure that there is nothing wrong with spousal support.
Hello amwknsw. No, I was a SAHM for about 20 years. When my youngest was a senior in high school, I got a job that I love, but it does not pay well. I really only got the job to be busy and contribute a bit to the bills. It does have good benefits, though.
Even last spring, my H and I were discussing retirement and when we would downsize and where. I was completely surprised when he told me we were done a month later. I wish he would have done this when I was 35, not 49. Actually, I just wish he wouldn't have done it at all.
H thinks he is being very kind by giving me the equity in the house. He believes I can just run out and by myself a house and still have a "nest egg" with that. Although it is a good sized amount, it isn't enough to last long. I plan to go back to school for a Masters in MFT, an expensive program, as a full time student...I won't be able to keep my job or work for those two years. But its a career that can go for quite a few years, as well. Yes, I will need maintenance. Our marriage lasted almost 26 years. I will fight for that.
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
