Oh believe me - it isn't easy! I still have very attached desires, but I'm tired of being held ransom by the relationship.
Last night when I wasn't texting him, and he wasn't texting me I had myself worked into a HUGE ball of anxiety. I was convinced that he had gone to be with OW, and didn't care that I said I was moving on.
Then when he showed up, and said he had been at the gym with a coworker, I realized it had been for nothing. As he left my house my thoughts were "That's it! He's probably going to OW now!" and then he face timed me as soon as he got home. If I had been pursuing him the whole night he wouldn't have had to make any effort or do any work, and what I'm realizing is that I need to make him do the work this time.
I think he is pursuing more quickly than most, because of how long we've been doing this. He came home once, and has admitted he doesn't want a divorce. He does, however, want to eat cake. My distance is likely just showing him that he can't play games forever, or he will lose me.
