I understand exactly where you're coming from and I don't think it's a bad place to be. If my wife wanted to come back, there are a number of things she's have to agree to (like NC with EA partner). I feel comfortable asking for (or demanding) those things because I'm not longer pining for her. Maybe a better way to put it is that I'd have to fall in love with her again so she'll have to court me if she wants to come back.
I don't think it's a bad thing; I think it's just the way it is.
