This morning I almost started crying infront of W. Just knowing we wont be under the same roof was getting me. I held it together though.
One day at a time
When my W and I first stopped sleeping under same roof, it was a week before my birthday. We had agreed that we would sleep in separate homes until we STARTed MC, which was scheduled about 8 days away. I thought, no big deal, it's temporary, and at least I'm fortunate that she's willing to stick it out and try counseling, no anxiety, no worry, no crying... after MC, she needed "more space" for 3 days until individual therapy, then "more time" until our next MC session, in which she cancelled... It was that night, I knew I was in for the rough road. All the FUD, emotion, worry, etc, poured out as I knew this was a turning point. Even though she hadn't told me yet, I knew the decision was made on her part, and it all hit me.
There's something about the definitive of 'knowing' that is so much different that the FUD of not knowing. It's real, and it hits so much harder than just the worry of something. I know it's easier said than done, but stay strong, especially in front of your W and kids. Don't breakdown, it will come off as desparation. (However, I think I've read some places, there is a proper moment to breakdown to show you're not immune to the pain), but I'd stay away from this.
Hang in there, create a plan, write down goals. and you're right - ONE DAY AT A TIME, but don't forget, each day starts with the night before. Put a little notepad next to bed and write down a few things each night on your mind. Start a gratitude journal or something along those lines as well. Being able to find things we are thankful for, or show gratitude for, in these hard times can be crucial in finding positive energy when dark, negatives thoughts consume so easily.
