14 days of sheer hell, part 6

[DDJ]

Thx guys. One thing that stumps me is that everyday whilst i'm at work i spin, my mind goes mad! I walked into the house now, alone at home for now and I am calm. I am focused.

I leave here at 6-30am focused. I spend the next 9 hours anxious. I get home and I am focused again. I do think that it's because I have nothing to do at work. I had about 2 hours productivity today, besides the 45 min nap :-)

I lose focus on myself, because there is nothing that I can do during the day. Even this morn as I lay awake at 4am, I did not think about my WW wife, I thought about myself and how I want to live my perfect life and improve myself. Building confidence. Guess i badly need that new job. Perhaps my down mood from this job, which started towards the end of last year, was also a contributing factor to a loss of attraction, that being said, i've never been happy in my job - (lack of good) culture fit.