I'm not going to file anytime darknes, I have a long way to go. I just am releasing my thoughts. I need to write them down or I will lose my sanity. It's going to be difficult enough splitting our budgets over the next few months. It will take a few more months to get the house in my name.
I need to not be a doormat so I think with her out of the MBR, and looking after herself, she'll see what life will be like.
The problem is that as long as she finds OM's I could DB till i'm blue in the face. Am definitely going to continue to detach, cos ultimately that is the aim. I am getting there. i am getting stronger. I'll continue to re-evaluate things but I must be prepared for the worst.
How do i deal with knowing that she's screwing other men - is that trauma really worth waiting for the day to reconcile, if that ever comes? I guess i'll have to wait until my feelings change then...
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
ok, maybe i'm getting it wrong. i'd like to say that i'm not co-dependant on my son then? But i've always been a bit heartless, whereby i take all emotion out of a situation - ooh, more introspection. My son will fall, i'll hear him cry lightly and then slowly walk to him to see what's up. Obviously, if he screams, i come running...
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
Darknes, one thing, are you really saying that I must look past any transgressions from her side, regardless how long it takes, until I detach? Once I am detached then I will be able to make an informed decision. That sounds like madness!
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
oh, and it does make sense darknes, cos at the end of the day, she isn't hurting me, only herself. I am still me without her. Still of strong morals and values, which I am refocusing on.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
DDJ, you got it all wrong. DB is for you and not to get your W back. You have to get yourself back first, and if you revive your marriage, that is just a bonus, the main prize is getting yourself back.
And don't do mind reading, you do not know if she's fcucking other men. I am not saying she is not, but you do not know for a fact that she is...
Darknes, one thing, are you really saying that I must look past any transgressions from her side, regardless how long it takes, until I detach? Once I am detached then I will be able to make an informed decision. That sounds like madness!
Everything sounds like madness when we are in these situations. They don't make sense because our gut says one things, mind says another, and yet, usually neither one of those things are right in accomplishing our goals. We aren't trained for this type of thing, this isn't something you study growing up in school or learning for work. I wish we could make sense of these things, but feel like most of us are just aiming from the hip as best we can.
