Focus on the work, not the when

[Ralph88]

So you want to leave or she wants you to leave?

[Melo]

She wants me to leave. So she can be alone with the kids. She wants to feel loneliness, she says she wants to struggle. What she really wants is to have OM over to her apartment.

[Ralph88]

You said exactly what I was thinking. I would recommend that you don't leave. I also recommend if she wants to 'feel' it, she can leave if she wants. I also recommend that you state she leaves the kids. I personally wouldn't give strength to OM, but if you feel the need to discuss, state that you don't want OM around your kids. Grow the new pair. You are not forcing her pi or asking her to leave, but you are not leaving.

It's not too late to make these claims and not to late to stay. I made the mistake of leaving.... Not sure if it would have helped, but I'll never know, because I thought I was a gentleman for leaving 'temporarily'.

[vise82]

Hey Melo,

You don't leave, kids don't leave either, it their home. If W wants this she can leave.

[Melo]

Thanks Ralph and Vise, I agree, the thing is that we don't own a house (one of my many failures in the MR), I never focused enough on my credit in order to be able to buy one. We lived in a pretty crappie apartment for 6 years and then my W decided that she had enough and we all (us and her parents) moved into a big rental house. We all have to leave since the lease can't be renewed and W is taking the opportunity to say she wants to be alone with the kids. I'm planning on getting a second job to fix my credit and get a house (hopefully in a year) so that the kids could then have some stability. So I have zero leverage at this point unfortunately. My W is going to move in with her parents for the time being and I will have my own 1 bd apt as that's all I can afford right now. I think my best bet will be to hook the kids up as much as possible at the in-laws/W's house to show that 180 and then fix my credit and get a house,another 180.

[bigybiz]

Melo:
Sorry to hear about the housing sit you are in. Many of us have been there. I have lousy credit and luckily I have a home (mortgaged but a home), no landlord would rent to me.

I'm sure you are looking for alternatives - so keep at it.

[bigybiz]

Melo:
Sorry to hear about the housing sit you are in. Many of us have been there. I have lousy credit and luckily I have a home (mortgaged but a home), no landlord would rent to me.

I'm sure you are looking for alternatives - so keep at it.

[Melo]

I spoke to a Pastor today, I told him my story and how badly I want my W back. He told me that there is nothing I can do to wake her up from her dog. She has chosen her path- that of the Devil and I have chosen mine- that of God. He said as a person of God, I have a responsibility to make sure I take care of myself, which means getting away from the W for awhile and letting her walk her path if she chooses, real love doesn't want to control, but set free.

[SH_]

Wise words from your Pastor.

[bigybiz]

Melo: It's such an awful place to be - where you think God has put you with your spouse and your spouse does not want to be with you. All we can do is pray that God will bring the back to us.