More detachment, less anxiety and the continued joy of limbo

[Phoebe]

SadHub, both of those odd experiences were the SAME MeetUp! It was odd all around.

So, the woman from the MeetUp that I had tea with invited me on a hike, and I said that I would. I am neither in the market for a date, nor am I attracted to women, but a potential walking partner would be nice. She also knows how to graft apple trees, and that's something I really would like to learn how to do myself, and she is interested in heirloom apples and gardening, so there are other common interests, too.

I think I'll chat about it with my therapist. I'm not great at saying no when I'm invited by people, and I really don't see why I ought to in this case, anyway. She was pleasant and I liked our talk over tea. I'm sure my awkwardness made my own preferences pretty clear.

So I got my five trees planted and I am TIRED!!! ( Lack of sleep probably didn't help.) Planting trees is work, even with a tiny backhoe to excavate the dead trees that I replaced. All the soil mixing and refilling of the hole has to be done by hand, plus I spread compost around all of my fruit trees and part of my garden. My parents came over and planted a bunch of stuff in my garden plots because I'm not going to use them this year. I'll help them care for their stuff and pilfer veggies as needed. It's the year of team gardening on this farm! Gardening was always my thing, not H's. I'm just taking a break this year.

After my tree project, I crashed for a while in my glider/swing and just chilled out. I even did some mindfulness while listening to the birds. I know most of the calls of the birds that I have around my house, so even with my eyes closed I can "see" what birds are hanging around. Today it was orioles, cardinals, bobolinks, red-wing black birds, song sparrows, grackles, red-bellied woodpeckers, Canada geese, and an eastern kingbird. It's a nice trick once the leaves come out.

Time to do my evening commute. I need some sleep, and I fully intend to take benadryl to get it!

Happy May17th to all, and to all a Good Night!