Sorry for the delay in responding. Things have been stir crazy the last few days and I am barely catching my breath.
I have caught up a bit here and Sandi's recent post is FREAKING spot on. Your W is doing what we call "truth trickling" which means that WAS only parses out the PG-5 rated version to the LBS. "Oh, it was just only kissing" when in actually they had hot, torrid sex hither yonder! And now your W just left for the firehouse meeting. This tells me that she's racing to the OM to get their stories straight and plot on some of the ways to push their A further into the underground.
There was a mixture of some good DBing and some really bad DBing. The bad part? You just let W go to the firehouse without really putting your foot down. If I were you, I would have simply said, "It takes only 2 minutes for you to decide to end ALL contact with OM right now. I have zero interest or desire to share you with another man. He is a predator and I am here to protect our marriage. Make no mistake. I am not willing to live in an open marriage nor plan to do so. We have some decisions to make here."
Then I would have sat back and watched W's reaction. Now that she chose to go to the firehouse, then I would have said, "Well, I have my answer right there..it says it all for me. You are not welcome to stay in the master bedroom at all."
No turning tails and running off to stay at mommy's house.
Know what? Starsky, while in the early stages, he locked the front door at 10 or 11 pm every night because his wayward wife (the fetching Mrs. Puppy/Starsky) would come home at all odd hours. That is A REAL MAN!!! I have a huge crush on Puppy.
No more lapping up some measly crumbs from W as long as SHE IS IN CONTACT WITH THE OM. You are worth so so much more than that, my friend. It all comes to self-respect. It's that simple.
