What Should I be doing 3

[Coconut]

OH Lordy, that was rough.... Sandi, I put my full faith in your words, and it seemed to work out for now...

So while at work I asked WW if she was planning on going to go to couples counseling on Friday, or if I should cancel it. She asked why I wanted to cancel, and I replied nevermind, I don't, I want to talk to the counselor about moving out in 1 1/2 weeks, so I was just wondering if she would be going. She said with surprise, you're moving out in 1 1/2 weeks?? Why?? I just said really?? She then said i want to talk to you about some feelings I have, but let's wait till home, I replied ok.

So at home she says that she's confused about me moving out, and that she thought we agreed that we would ask OM if he could go to another station. I said I agreed to stay if there was NC, but he's still a friend on Facebook, he still works at your station, he's still in the station group-me group, you may not be talking to him, but he's still very much in your life, thus in our M.

She then went into how she sometimes feels like I'm all over the road, that sometimes I act like everything is normal and sometimes I seem angry, I said no since in living stressed, so I choose to be happy, and that other times I am just letting her know what I can accept in our M.

She then says I haven't given her the things she has asked for, I got sucked in and we disagreed about what she's asked for / done vs. what I've asked for / done. At one point she said she's been honest with me, ha... Anyway, we argued (I know I handled it wrong) and then she started getting loud and I said we should continue talking when we calm down.

Eventually we finished, some things that came up:
- she said I'm not the kind of guy she is usually attracted to, but she fell for me because of who I am, but when I disengaged (2 years ago) she lost her attraction for me, I said that I understand woman need an emotional connection to be attracted. (Keep in mind she was ecstatic 3 months ago when we last made love, was very passionate)
- she said that she's told me over and over what she wants, go out and have fun together, let things build naturally, and I haven't done any of that. I reminded her that I tried to plan things but she kept cancelling because of the academy, and I've done everything she's planned (which was two family dinners).
- she still showed no remorse, she definitely distorted facts, and still blames me for the A.

Anyways, you get the idea, she basically blamed me for everything, eventually I managed to stop trying to defend myself and just validated, but when she was done, I said, well you know where I stand, it's no contact or I'm moving forward with separation and D process. I said I'm gonna contact mom tonight and see if there's an option for me to stay there for awhile, and if not I'll find a room to rent, and walked away.

At this point I thought I was out of the house (sry Wonka), I started putting together a net worth spreadsheet and breakdown of monthly home expenses vs. her income to show that she can't afford to keep house (she's convinced she can). About ten minutes later she came over and said do you want me to draft the message, or are you leaving.. I told her I want no contact, so yes, draft the letter. Then she had to go to a fire meeting, so we will send the message in a couple of hours..