the race is tomorrow actually but I will kill it. WW is gonna be there is laying a bit of a guilt trip on me saying it will be 'emotional for her' at the start so now I am debating on whether I should or not.
If I don't go I guess that would be a 'nice guy' type of move. There will be 1000's of people so I could probably avoid her for the most part.
the half went pretty well. Time was 1.31.35ish (not sure of the official time yet). Bugs me a little that I left a little out on the course. The last time, I was spent at the end. Under 1.30 is the goal!
WW raced. I avoided her before hand so that she wouldn't get 'emotional'. That was fine, I like being by myself before hand anyway. But I did decide to wait in the finish area for her (50 minutes later!). I would do that for anyone and waited for others in our running group to finish as well. I gave her a quick hug, said congrats and told her to enjoy the time with the running club. She had a bad injury about a year and half ago so that was a big deal for her.
So pretty good day... now it will be on to that ragnar relay!
What an absolute blast I had this weekend. These are the things that have been a blessing in disguise of this whole situation!
I ran a ragnar relay race which is about 200 miles down to the tip of cape cod. Our team was 12 people total, 6 people per van. In my van, literally no one knew each other except the team captain who knew everyone somewhat. There were 3 guys and 3 gals. I was with them for 36 hours straight on the course in this van. It was like the Real World meets a crazy relay race. The way everyone meshed together was unreal honestly. Then we spent the night at the finish line and had a great night out on the town and then drove back to the start for over 2 hours together.
I am definitely not an extrovert but not a total introvert either. But this was out of my comfort zone. I went back and forth on whether or not to do it for a while and a few weeks ago, I was like, what's the reason not to? There was no reason so I went for it. Just being in this situation it helps build confidence, which helps social skills, which builds confidence, which helps social skills etc etc etc. I see the changes in myself, I can continue to make myself better.
The captain was my yoga instructor. See how all this has worked? It is crazy. 5ish months ago I was debating whether or not to give yoga a try. Today I have several knew friends and getting into new physical hobbies which I enjoy. It feels great!
The yoga instructor definitely does have a bit crush. It does make me feel good but I am not exactly sure how to handle it. I do like her personality. She does open up about things she has gone through in her past relationships and asks me questions. I remain closed off but did open up slightly during this trip. I am worried about too much of an emotional connection developing and her getting hurt one day. But I'll take it one day at a time and try to let things flow.
The best part was that WW was completely out of my mind all weekend long and there was no visiting this site!
Man WW's in general are making me angry. Not even mine in particular. I read the stories on here and I find myself getting frustrated and annoyed at the situations. I was particularly ornery reading vise's thread today (sorry vise if I came across harsh). They are all so selfish.
Anyway, like I said, had a fantastic weekend. My teammates plastered FB with pics, videos comments etc... literally plastered it. So today I get a text from WW with a boo-hoo story about how she has to go a wedding at the place we got married this weekend. I know it's not even about that. It is about the weekend I had, I guarantee it. I haven't done the old no response in a while with her... this might be one of those. Or I could wait until after hockey tonight and respond with... 'try to have fun'. That might be better.
right on queue WW texts and asks when we should talk. She brought this up about 2 months ago. Then it sounded positive.
Here is the thing now I don't care and the emotions I feel are strange. If she came out and said it is time for D, I would say I agree. If she came out and said I want to work on things, I am not sure how I would react and am not sure I want to. I think I need to try and delay this so I can go in with a clear head. I also see no need to talk if she wants to D, just go ahead with it. hmph
I understand exactly where you're coming from and I don't think it's a bad place to be. If my wife wanted to come back, there are a number of things she's have to agree to (like NC with EA partner). I feel comfortable asking for (or demanding) those things because I'm not longer pining for her. Maybe a better way to put it is that I'd have to fall in love with her again so she'll have to court me if she wants to come back.
I don't think it's a bad thing; I think it's just the way it is.
I understand exactly where you're coming from and I don't think it's a bad place to be. If my wife wanted to come back, there are a number of things she's have to agree to (like NC with EA partner). I feel comfortable asking for (or demanding) those things because I'm not longer pining for her. Maybe a better way to put it is that I'd have to fall in love with her again so she'll have to court me if she wants to come back.
I don't think it's a bad thing; I think it's just the way it is.
yea that is an excellent way to put it. It'll be an interesting road.
Also did ever get any more information on the incident with seeing your wife's car outside the house where the felon was living with his mom? Just wondering, because if that happened to me shortly before seeing my wife to talk, I would make sure I had my emotions in check, in regards to that ordeal.
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
