You have been getting a lot of good advice and I would add that this separation may be a good time for you to clean the house and put it all in order (meaning your life).
I got caught up with your thread and it always repeat that she asked you to do this or that. First, it is not the right way to test someone to their limits. She tells you she is leaving and then she wants you to be all motivated to do things for her.
I am a girl and I really think she is playing a very dirty game with you. Of course you did a lot of wrongs during your marriage and maybe because of that she got tired of being married to a guy that did not fix her stuff.
But by other hand, was this woman so perfect that she can only blame your behavior? As far as I know you work, maybe all day. So, it's not like you are sitting around doing zero all day. I did a lot of stuff in my house and I am not a guy.
Being understanding, compassionate and really caring, does not mean you need to please her every time she ask you to make something. Next thing we know, she spits on the floor and will ask you to clean it, in the speed that she thinks is good enough for her.
Collin, take your time and find yourself, find what you like, what is good for you, what you enjoy doing. Not everyone is born to be a fixer upper. If you find good stuff then keep them, if you find you need to improve on some things, then set a path to do it, with a therapist, counselor, or whatever.
I also see you may need to set your faith straight. People with real faith and God inside themselves do not need to please everyone else. They are good just because, they do good because it makes them whole and makes them feel good about themselves.
Reading your posts I feel and think that what she is asking is for your maturity. The laziness may be a sign that you may need to do some serious work on you and then you will love yourself so much that it will be hard for others not to.
Take you time sweetie. Be yourself or find yourself. Help yourself to be in one piece again.
If you still want to fix something for her, then tell her honestly that you are trying to make sense of all this, get your life moving, hold yourself in one piece and you won't get to it until "whatever - a week or so", this will put you in a position of no failure again. You will give yourself time to resolve the issue. If she does not like, well then you can say she can do that herself because you are facing your own challenges now.
I know it [censored], but it will also undermine her desire to make you feel like you are always failing. There are something called "Respect" and I think she is lacking some towards you right now.
Hope you will decide to start helping yourself instead of pleasing someone that does not want to be pleased.
