I think the attitude usually comes close to identification. If a woman leaves her H b/c he has gone to prison for life, or he refuses to work to help support his wife & kids, or who is doing something cruel, indecent, abusive, etc..........you could see where she had good reason to leave. Even if she leaves b/c she has given up all hope that he will ever change........she is usually heartbroken and terribly discouraged, but she's not out acting like girls gone wild, staying out all night partying. She is usually not eager to start dating right after leaving her H. She is certainly not in any type of an A. And....although she may be resentful (I know I would be), disappointed, hurt, and maybe bitter.....she does not act like some hellcat with an entitlement attitude. and if he was that bad......then she probably deserves to act like a hellcat.
Many a husband doesn't know the truth until after his W has moved out. Then he learns she is already dating, and then learns the OM was waiting in the wings the entire time....and some don't wait, if you know what I mean.
I think the best way a man can arrive closer to knowing if she is wayward, or what......is to check himself to see if he has been a bad man. I don't mean he didn't show her enough attention, spend enough time with the kids, or a thousand other complaints you hear W's talking about. I mean, was he really bad enough for her to break up her family? Did he mistreat her, or was he a jerk, lazy and worthless? If he cannot point to one really legitmate issue, and has to sweep together remlents to come up with an excuse for her taking off.......I would start looking closer at the wife. What is her attitude and behavior, especially if he crosses her just a little? Which one has control issues? Which one has worn the pants? Has the H spoiled her (in one way or another)?What does she do when she's not happy with something he has done? How does she treat him in front of their kids? Does she make snide remarks, talk down to him, sound/act disgusted with him, or raise her voice to him? Does she order him around? Does he have to apologize, even if he did nothing wrong.....but wants peace between them? Would a person wonder how long it may have been since she has shown H a truly loving and warm W, or if she's a b'tch most of the time? These are just a few examples of a woman who is already wayward.......or well on her way. And all wayward women don't leave their nice home, b/c they like to cake eat too much.
It's true a lot of MR's die due to not being together enough. But when one spouse refuses to try and make things better...........I say to be suspicious.
So anyway, it didn't take all those words to give you the picture, but maybe it helped someone else who reads it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
