Scotch, you need to look at the financial side of divorce as a business deal. Take the emotion out. Start mediation if you feel that will protect you.

Divide assets and debt now, come to an agreement on how house proceeds will be split and go from there. You will have a very hard time being "neighborly friendly" and detached if you are worried about financials.

So decide what you are MORE worried about, detaching & remaining friendly or saving $$$$.

Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction